More couples are signing prenuptial agreements than ever before.

For some, they're a sensible way to protect assets.

For others, they provide peace of mind.

Whatever your opinion, the growing popularity of prenups points to something much bigger.

Couples are becoming more willing to talk about money before they get married.

That's a good thing.

Not because every couple needs a prenup.

But because every couple needs financial conversations.

Money is never just about money

Ask two people what money means, and you'll rarely get the same answer.

For one person, money represents freedom.

For another, it means security.

Someone who grew up watching their parents struggle to pay bills may instinctively save every spare pound.

Someone raised in a financially secure household may see money as something to enjoy and experience.

Neither person is wrong.

They're simply carrying different financial stories.

Morgan Housel writes in The Psychology of Money that our financial decisions often make perfect sense once you understand the experiences that shaped them.

In relationships, this matters enormously.

Because we don't marry a bank account.

We marry a financial history.

Build a Financial Love Map

John Gottman talks about the importance of building "Love Maps", a deep understanding of your partner's inner world.

That includes dreams.

Fears.

Values.

And yes...

Money.

A Financial Love Map isn't about knowing your partner's salary.

It's about understanding the beliefs underneath it.

Why do they save?

Why do they spend?

What makes them anxious?

What makes them feel secure?

What are they trying to build?

When couples understand each other's financial stories, disagreements become much easier to navigate.

Instead of arguing about purchases, they begin understanding the needs those purchases represent.

A prenup is only one conversation

Whether you decide to have a prenup is a personal and legal decision.

But focusing only on what happens if the relationship ends risks missing the bigger opportunity.

What about all the financial decisions that happen while the relationship is thriving?

How will you make big purchases?

How much risk feels comfortable?

What does financial success look like?

How important is generosity?

How do you want to balance enjoying life today with preparing for tomorrow?

Those conversations shape a relationship far more often than a legal document ever will.

Ten questions every couple should ask about money

Instead of beginning with:

"What happens if we divorce?"

Try beginning here.

1. What did you learn about money growing up?

2. When do you feel most financially secure?

3. What financial habits are you proud of?

4. What financial habits would you like to change?

5. What role should money play in creating a happy life?

6. What are your biggest financial fears?

7. If we suddenly had enough money to never work again, how would you spend your time?

8. What financial goals feel most important over the next ten years?

9. How should we make major financial decisions together?

10. What does financial partnership mean to you?

Notice something.

None of these questions are about spreadsheets.

They're about understanding.

That's because the goal isn't simply to combine finances.

It's to understand the person behind the finances.

Healthy financial conversations are relationship nutrition

At Haven, we think of relationships like living systems.

Just as our bodies need regular nutrients, relationships need regular conversations that deepen understanding and strengthen trust.

Money is one of those nutrients.

Not because talking about finances is romantic.

But because every meaningful conversation expands your Love Map.

Every time you understand your partner a little better, your relationship becomes more resilient.

Perhaps that's the real lesson behind the growing interest in prenups.

The most valuable thing isn't the document.

It's the conversation that happens before it's signed.